I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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