big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
