Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
