We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
