My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
