new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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