every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
