If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
