are you so shy because you have an std?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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