Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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