Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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