What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
