how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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