I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
