Its about making memories worth repressing
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
