Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
