I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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