thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You made out with two different species that night
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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