Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
