is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
