I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
