Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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