So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
