Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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