Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
