I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
