I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
