This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
