you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
