Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
