I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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