Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
