I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm passing your future prison.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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