I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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