'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
