Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I believe in your delicious
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
