If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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