You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
