dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
