do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
