sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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