it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
