Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
