He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
