I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
