Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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