I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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