This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
