In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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