In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Randomize
